Story Subtitles

Story Subtitles

reading out aloud in class being worried Guilty

This is a story from school, and it's a very strong memory. And also very scarring one for

me. We used to have language classes English, Hindi and different other languages that we

learned and often it needed a skill to like, read out loud in class. And that was extremely

difficult to do. But yeah, let's see how it feels like to be in language class with me when I

was. Like. Imagine like 10 years old. And. The class has begun and everybody we're reading

a new chapter and everybody needs to, like, read the chapter to be able to test their

reading abilities in front of the whole class. And we would be like class of 30 students who

had to all read. Different paragraphs in the chapter. And I would figure out the sequence in

which the paragraph needs to be read, and I would locate the paragraph that I. Have to

read. Depending on the children that are sitting in the order. And. I would read that specific

paragraph multiple number of times and practice the difficult words so that I don't make

mistake when it's my turn to read it. Out. Loud and I would have such low confidence on

my reading skills and. And be very difficult to cope in that situation. I know it's quite crazy

for a 10 year old to do. All of this. To feel not anxious and shameful in front of the whole

class. I avoid making any mistakes when it's my turn actually to read. I'm so nervous and so

anxious I would end up making more mistakes than. I wouldn't have. I would miss lines. I

would skip words. I would read the word. Completely wrongly and I really dreaded those

language classes and this is one of the examples of like my Hindi class that I had. I was an

extremely poor reader. I hated myself and I was extremely disappointed that I was unable

to read so eloquently like other people were. And I needed a lot of assistance from my

teachers and friends. I was grateful that I had very supportive friends. To help me read, but

the guilt of inadequacy was so much that it affects my public reading. It affected my public

reading skills and I still feel chills of that experience if I have to, like, think about it. But now

knowing of me being dyslexic and understanding why that happen. Calms me down a little

bit and helps me like forgive myself, but it was quite dreadful. Like I feel very anxious

thinking about it still.

Let's move to next page for emotion.