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Texting my friend-self doubt


So this story came into realization when a. Close friend pointed out that I have a weird way

of texting. It's sometimes difficult to understand what I'm saying in my text, so that's where

I started to like really. Understand and explore what happens, and let's see one

conversation or chat conversation with a couple of friends and how it kind of moves and

changes. So yeah, I received a message from a group of friends regarding a plan that we

want to create and we want to discuss things. Regarding some sort of work we were doing

together and then we decided that it's would be beneficial to get on like a call to be able to

work on it instead of getting on a chat discussion. Which totally made sense. So now what

happens is the next step is that we set up a call in the meeting and go about the

conversation. So I said I messaged that call on teams and I did not put a question mark.

Which? Can be confusing for others, but in my head. I thought that it was understandable

immediately. I know. What I was saying and. But when then they asked me back saying do

you want me to call you or how does what do you want to do? I'm like, oh, I I'm sorry. I

forgot the question mark. Should I call and that's where I realized. That. My texting can be

extremely confusing and lack of punctuation and certain. Spelling issues here and there

can make it extremely confusing for the person who's receiving the chat because they can't

hear me and I. Kind of. Felt quite annoyed of my own self to not really see this initially and

as I really doubted my own self while texting and I was really conscious when I was doing

that. I started to like really think before I text somebody. And if there's a spelling mistake, I

would like Google up and see what the spelling is before I write it and not sound or seem

dumb. So there was like a lot of disappointment and like general self loathing that I was

going through in this process, I used to feel that I don't want to seem that I don't. Know

things generally in a group conversation or talking to a complete stranger, or talking to a

manager. Anybody like different contexts. So I should do that a lot. And I had a habit of I

still have that habit of sending. A lot of text in like sending one line of multiple messages

instead of sending one consolidated text. So somebody mentioned that it can be very

annoying. So I was like ohh I did not know that that could be irritating, but that's how I think

and I write.. Then I realized that how texting can also be a form of embarrassment, and

because texting involves a lot of writing. I started to understand that it might be an area of

problem. Yeah, it's kind of crazy texting. Make things easy for mankind, but not for me. So

yeah, that was something that was crazy. And I began to slowly understand what's going

wrong and why this is happening. And I was unable to participate. Also too much because

it was too much to write and I would be really tired sometimes to like, write so much. As I

text, so I began to accept that it's OK to not be perfect at writing it, so I started using a lot of

voice notes when that feature kind of came into being started to send a lot of voice notes to

my friends, and I would receive back text messages, voice, voice, notes from. Them so it

has gotten better because with more functionalities that are available now, but still I am

very careful when I'm texting with a new person. To not seem that what I'm writing is

proper, proper, properly done, punctuated and written so that the person doesn't feel

confused and see feel like this person doesn't order text. What kind of a human being is

this? So yeah, trying to not feel extremely embarrassed and work my way through this. So

this is the story. Let's move to next page for emotion.